When Life Happens, Here’s What You Do

Friends, this week has been nothing short of cuckoo bananas. My kids have been on Spring Break and, rather than doing fun things, they’ve both been dealing with an ailment of some sort. I even ended up taking my older son to urgent care three times in eight days.

It’s been stressful, I’ve been more distracted than usual, and I haven’t gotten nearly as much work done as I intended.

So, let me set a scene for you. 

I’m barraged daily in my email inbox and on my social media feeds by business coaches reminding me that I’m not doing nearly enough to achieve my business goals. And for the past eight months I’ve been running thoughts on repeat reinforcing that.

However, in January I made a commitment to myself that I would spend a minimum of 10 minutes every day to forward my business, and that no matter how insignificant that 10 minutes seems, I will acknowledge it and give myself props for it.

I think it was Wednesday when, as I began giving myself yet another mental beatdown for lack of progress, I paused and decided to assess my current situation.

I have my two teenage sons home for the week.

One has had a sore throat with congestion and reverted back to his younger “Mommy, take care of me” persona.

The other has an issue that, even after three trips to urgent care and myriad tests, remains an unsolved mystery.

So I’ve been a bit on edge. I’ve done my best to care for both of my children in the ways they require while managing my own level of absolute freak out as much as possible.

I’m also in a wave of songwriting that hasn’t happened to me since before my kids were born. After spending years stomping it down, I’ve decided to lean into it…and it’s been a pretty amazing and welcome respite. 

But I’m still doing 10 minutes (or more) a day of something for my business every single day.

Okay, now that you’re caught up on the reasons why this blog is a day late, I’m going to offer a perspective shift for when you’re feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of “I’m not doing enough”:

Are you taking care of the basic needs of yourself and the people you’re responsible for today? 

Are you honoring the commitments you’ve made to yourself? And are those commitments actually doable and realistic?

If you said yes, then you’re doing enough.

Every day’s best effort looks different. So does every week and every season of life. 

Having young kids looks different than having older kids, which looks different from having adult children. And we can’t compare our daily progress to those with lives different from ours.

Whether you’ve just lost a close relative, have just had a friend ghost you, or you’re going through a devastating breakup, those are all losses. 

And a loss is a loss. We don’t need to put yours on a scale comparing it to others and tell ourselves, “Well, mine isn’t as bad as so and so’s and I need to stop being lazy.”

NO. Stop it.

You can’t expect yourself to be firing on all cylinders when you’re going through something challenging or new.

So when your child is experiencing a mystery condition and you’re not getting answers despite taking him to see a doctor three times, you can’t expect yourself to be laser focused on your business.

Well, at least I can’t. Maybe YOU can. 

But I know myself well enough to know that when my kids need me, they’re getting my full attention and work is gonna have to wait.

So when the sh*t hits the fan or life shows up and throat punches you, remember this: You can evaluate your situation, and YOU can decide if you’re not doing enough. You don’t have to follow the grinding standard of “hustle culture” that our society insists should be the norm.

And when you hear yourself say, “You’re not doing enough,” you can tell yourself “I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do today.”

Love & hugs,

Dana