What’s Really Keeping You From Losing Weight?
This week I’d like to talk a little bit about the effect of our unconscious minds on our efforts to lose weight and feel better in our bodies.
I’ll begin with a personal anecdote. When I was a little girl my brother, whom I love so dearly, absolutely could not f*cking stand me.
Part of the Walker family lore is the tale of when my mother asked my brother: “Why don’t you like your baby sister?”
He loudly declared, “BECAUSE SHE’S FULL OF BABY NASTINESS!!!”
I find the story hilarious and tell it to everyone I know, including my own children. (And now you, beauties and cuties.)
But as I’ve been unraveling my own micro-traumas, uncovering the demons that held me hostage to an eating disorder for well over 20 years…that had trapped me in a cycle of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-effacement…I came back to that phrase.
Did my one-year-old mind grab on to what my disgruntled three-year-old brother proclaimed?
Did my unconscious mind believe that yes, as a matter of fact, I am full of baby nastiness?
Does it still believe that at 51 years old?
I can’t really answer that. But I am going to share something deeply personal with you (that maybe I should be keeping to myself) in the hopes that it helps someone feel less alone.
I’ve always been a moody bitch. Since birth. (I mean…my brother wasn’t wrong.)
I’ve been dealing with depression since my early teens and last summer was unofficially diagnosed with ADHD (which is often misdiagnosed as depression).
But since I had a hysterectomy (and kept my ovaries) in early December, something feels…off. My mood can change from minute to minute. Some days I feel almost stable, and some I feel like I’m drowning. There’s also an indescribable skin-crawling feeling that can leave me on edge for days.
The drowning is way more prevalent than the stability.
I’m not sure if this is the “dark night of the soul” that people talk about or if it’s just hormones slowly draining from my body. (I do take prescribed hormones. I don’t know if they’re making a difference, but I’m gonna keep taking them.)
I do know that I’m diligently practicing giving myself a lot of grace on the days where there’s so much chaos in my head that I accomplish nothing but taking care of the basic needs of my children.
Those days consist of basic movement, meditation, and a lot of journaling.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is that in the past feeling even close to this would’ve thrown me right back into the comfortable misery of binge eating and weight gain.
Admittedly, I’ve not been eating as healthfully as I prefer…but I’m maintaining my weight and have been for several months.
How? I practice being kind to myself. I practice not judging myself when I’m totally unproductive. I sit uncomfortably through the restlessness of late-night urges. I allow myself to actually feel my feelings. And I journal the f*ck out of everything.
AND SOMETIMES IT REALLY SUCKS.
But you know what would suck more? Gaining back the 55 pounds I lost.
So here’s my question for you: Have you ever thought about unconscious beliefs that may contribute to the cycle of weight loss-regain?
I’d really like for you to think about that.
Our brains produce something like 60,000 thoughts a day, and about 80% of them are negative. But what’s cool about our brains is neuroplasticity. We can actually rewire our brains to think different thoughts. This is how we manage depression.
I’m not talking about affirmations or toxic positivity…I mean paying attention to those negative thoughts, catching them, and then practicing thinking a different thought.
One that you can actually believe, though…not one that attempts to blow sunshine and rainbows up your ass. I have a digital course that teaches you how to do this…email me at dana@revolution-within.com for more information on that.
Awareness is the first step toward changing our unconscious beliefs that keep us stuck in old, destructive patterns. When you pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself and write it down, you can then begin reworking your own narrative. That’s where the real change begins.
Love & Hugs,
Dana