One Small Change Can Make a Huge Difference

Last week I wrote about how freaking amazing meditation is. It’s a simple (and free) way to begin improving your wellness. Even taking a few minutes a day to close your eyes and focus on your breathing can begin to heal things you didn’t believe could be fixed.

So now I’d like to talk about another simple and inexpensive way to start taking care of yourself - writing down your feelings.

Journaling has saved my life countless times. How?

Well, I’ve been “Dear Diary”ing since I was about six years old. And many of those years would find that diary filled with woe-is-me, nobody likes me-type entries. 

There was an awful lot of self-judgment going on…and even though I grew up in a relatively stable household with two parents and two older siblings, most of my opinion about myself was really negative. I absorbed shame like a sponge and deflected pretty much anything complimentary.

I thought it was because people outside of myself were the holders of the truth about me. And for every positive thing that was said about me - good student, bright, hilarious, loyal, great ear for music - I only heard and held on to the negative ones.

All I wanted in those early journaling years was to fit in. To be popular. To be talented. And in my narrow little view of myself and the world, I didn’t have any of that going on.

But looking back now, I did have all of those things…just not in the obvious way that I thought was acceptable or preferred. And the way I can see it now is because I’ve learned how to journal. I’ve practiced asking myself difficult questions and combing through my old thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to answer them with honesty…even when it’s uncomfortable or painful.

Emotional pain is, in my opinion, worse than physical pain. With physical pain we have treatments. Bandages. Medications. We’ve been taught how to deal with bruises and cuts; we (most of us anyway) know how essential it is to properly treat a physical wound in order for it to heal properly.

But emotional ones? Yeah, not so much. No one teaches us jack about how to mend those wounds. “Go to therapy” is the pat answer, but in my experience not may people are real gung-ho about that option.

Back to journaling saving my life. When I’ve been really deep in depression and the unaliving myself thoughts have returned, writing about it has helped keep me from hurling myself from an overpass.

It may seem really dumb to some, but writing it down helps your brain process it. So does talking about it (with a therapist or, if that’s not in your scope of possibility, a trusted loved one who will listen without judgment or shame).

But doing nothing about those negative thoughts? Well, that’s how we become bitter and jaded. 

You might be saying, “But Dana, I DO talk about all of that bad shit ALLLLLLL the time.”

Okay, cool. Is that what you are always talking about, though? The annoying and/or hurtful shit that happens to you?

Let me ask you this…what about gratitude? (Oh boy, here we go. That power of positive thinking nonsense.)

Um, yeah. It’s not nonsense, though. It’s science.

Now, I’m not talking about toxic positivity, where you ignore the bad stuff completely and paste a smile on your face all the time. I’m talking about taking the time to process the frustrations and hurtful emotions, breathing, allowing them to move through your body…then focusing your now-processed feelings on one small thing that you’re grateful for.

It doesn’t have to be huge. It could be “I’m grateful for my kickass comfy pillow” or “I’m grateful that my son emptied the dishwasher without me having to ask.”

The reason is that when you do this, you are rewiring your brain to notice the good stuff more than the bad stuff. And when you do that you gradually become calmer, leading to fewer things tossing you in a state of stress or pissed-offedness.

This takes PRACTICE. A LOT of it. Practice, patience, and persistence.

And journaling about it is the way that you can TRACK YOUR PROGRESS. 

See…when you’re only talking about it, there’s no record of your growth for you to look back at and give yourself kudos for. Acknowledging your progress is what helps you get through the times when you start backpedaling. And I mean, it’s really important to have some way to notice all of this because you WILL fall back into old patterns. 

That’s the way our brains work. No change is linear. And remember to cut yourself some slack when you do mess up, because practicing being kind to yourself is still the best way to begin improving your overall wellness.

Try it and keep me in the loop: email me at dana@revolution-within.com.

Love & hugs,

Dana