How to Let Go of Stupid Sh*t
If you’re reading this blog, then you’re probably seeking something. Maybe you’ve found it through my social media, or someone sent you the link.
However you got here, welcome! I’m Dana, and I’m a life coach who focuses on helping people improve their mental wellness, which then trickles down into physical wellness. (Rad.)
Today we’re going to talk about why holding on to dumb stuff that other people do isn’t helping your wellness at all; in fact, it’s making it worse.
I used to hold onto hurtful things that people said to me and carry them around with me like a blanket.
Whenever I got low or started feeling depression coming on again, I would wrap that blanket around me as proof that my life was miserable.
And I’d tell myself all the reasons why people didn’t like me, shouldn’t like me, etc. And then I’d do everything in my power to try to make everyone like me.
EXHAUSTING.
Now I’ve done a lot of work to get out of that place, to put that blanket down. And I have a lot of evidence of my progress, thanks to decades of journaling.
But sometimes all of the effort to stay in a positive place is equally exhausting, because it takes a lot of energy and consistent practice to change the ways our brain is using to thinking.
It’s worth it, though.
Here’s why: When you no longer use that energy to try to make other people behave the way you think they should, you can use that energy for making your life the way you actually want it to be.
How do you start?
Well, I’ll sum it up by referencing something coined by Mel Robbins, my future bestie and the host of a wildly popular and helpful podcast: The “Let Them” theory.
What is that? It means that rather than getting all emotionally worked up and tizzied out over other people’s behavior, you say to yourself, “Let them” and at the same time you practice stopping taking everything so f*cking personally.
They don’t want to spend time with you anymore? LET THEM.
They want to send their life savings to the snake oil salesman/grifter running for office? LET THEM.
They aren’t going to suddenly like you the most because you bend over backwards to be what you think they *might* think is likable.
Their beliefs aren’t going to change just because you point out all of the factual evidence of their guru actually being a con artist.
In fact, they usually double and triple down because 1) our brains are wired to find evidence of what we already believe until we CHOOSE to deliberately change that, and 2) no one (particularly the willfully ignorant) likes to admit being wrong about something.
Because IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. It might FEEL like it is; but it’s not.
It’s about them. It’s about their experiences. Their reactions. Their confirmation bias. Their lil baby feelies getting bruised. Their issues. Their baggage.
But when you’re pouring YOUR energy into wondering why other people behave/think/react the way they do? Or into trying to influence other people to change the way they behave/think/react to the way that YOU think they should?
Woof. Now THAT’S exhausting.
You do you, beauties and cuties. You focus on raising YOUR vibe, on improving YOUR outlook. And when you turn your energy to that? You’re able to focus on things that can actually improve your life.
But if you’re hoping to have a better human experience by trying to change those around you? That ain’t it, kid.
That’s what I have for you today. Stay hydrated, and email me if you’d like to chat: dana@revolution-within.com
Love & hugs,
Dana
Here’s a link to Mel’s podcast on “Let Them”: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-70?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAApAMQlgtdfOSLSN4TEdocYafr5Xpm&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxNSF0aeHiAMVadrCBB2dVQ-TEAAYASAAEgItRPD_BwE)