Caught in the Shitty Loop of Overwhelm
Ohhhh boy, here we go. Let’s just skip the pleasantries and crack this one open, cuties.
Overwhelm is one of those things that rears its really fucking unhelpful head at me daily. ”I don’t have time for that.” Have you ever heard those words come out of your mouth?
“I don’t have time to write a plan.”
“I don’t have time to write about what I really want from my life…I’m too busy taking care of everyone else’s needs.”
“I don’t have time to exercise.”
“I don’t even have time to think.”
How overwhelming is that? What a complicated mess of thoughts to have to navigate constantly. Well, allow me to let you in on a little secret…your brain is telling you that to keep you stuck in survival mode. Is it really true that out of 24 hours a day, you can’t carve out 5 minutes to jot down what you’re going to eat today or make a little note of something that you’d really like to make happen for yourself…if only you had the time?
Now, one thing I am not here to do is to shame you about this. I get it. Years upon years I’ve spent dwindling the hours away telling myself that I’m too overwhelmed to start playing the piano and writing songs again or to start slowly building my fitness back up to where I’m running half marathons again. Judging or shaming ourselves for these thoughts and feelings does nothing but perpetuate the negative spiral we’re already in.
So what do I do, Dana? Delete all of my social media accounts? Cancel Netflix? I mean, sure, you could do those things. I’m familiar with the mindless scrolling habit many of us have developed, especially through the pandemic. But we are living in a post-pandemic existence now, and fear mongering is the top story on the news every fucking day. Regardless of your political and social views, what gets the most clicks is still HIGH DRAMA. Facts ain’t it, bruh. And in our late stage capitalism existence, we’re all just trying to raise our families and make enough money to survive. Right? So don’t I deserve a little down time at the end of my tough day?
Yeah, you do. So what I’m suggesting is this…start small. Learning how to be less overwhelmed doesn’t happen in some grandiose fell swoop of epiphany. Change of any kind just doesn’t work this way. I mean, occasionally someone with have a near-death experience and change everything about themselves - go from raging asshole to super nice in the course of a four-week hospital stay. (Or is that just the plot of the Harrison Ford film “Regarding Henry”?)
Anyway, here’s how to deal with overwhelm. When you have that thought, “I don’t have time,” consider this one…”Can I just take a minute to breathe?” And breathe. (See my blog post from July 22 titled “Baby’s First Blog” for some guidance here.) Notice how you feel afterwards. Did that take the heat off just a little?
Good. Learning how to deconstruct overwhelm happens through lots of little pauses. And it starts with knowing that you don’t have to believe you don’t have time for something just because your brain insists that you don’t. It’s YOUR brain, and you get to talk back to it. You seriously don’t have to believe every thought you have. And you don’t have to have it all figured out in a week, either.
As always, I’m here to help. All will be well.
Love and hugs,
Dana