Why People Pleasing Sucks

Who is a people pleaser out there? 👋🏼

I have troubling news for you, beauties: People pleasing is a manipulation tactic. Basically, you’re lying.

WHAT?!?!? Are you calling me a liar?!?! But I’m just trying to be nice! I’m just trying to be low-maintenance and easy-going and the cool girl! I’m just suppressing and denying my needs for the wants of others!! How is that lying?!?!

Allow me to explain. By trying to behave in a way that makes us “like-able” rather than showing up as our truest selves, we are attempting to control the outcome of our interactions with other people and their opinions of us. This creates disingenuous and dysfunctional relationships. Full stop. I did this for YEARS and still catch myself in it from time to time. It’s a challenging habit to break that takes awareness and lots of practice.

Learning how to show up as your authentic self, separate from what you think other people want you to be, is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It will also allow the not-so-functional relationships in your life to reveal themselves. Practicing this has made me less self-conscious because I no longer find myself immediately reading people’s behavior and trying to step into whatever interpretation of myself I think I “should” be in order to be liked in the moment. I spent decades like that; it was exhausting. The amount of energy I spent people-pleasing could’ve powered a small city grid or twelve.

So now I use that emotional energy to help my clients learn the four basics (SEE: https://www.nobsweightloss.com/ep-113-the-four-basics-of-weightloss/) and practice slowly changing thought patterns and habits that keep us in weight loss/gain cycles.

If you’d like to work with me, email me at dana@revolution-within.com. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Leave the people-pleasing at the door; I’m here to support YOU just as you are.

Love and hugs,

Dana