Weight Loss and Other People’s Opinions

So many people stay stuck because they don’t want to upset someone else…they don’t want to “rock the boat.”

“I’m afraid if I lose too much weight my husband will get too jealous and leave me.”

Or someone says something hurtful or flippant and you carry it around like a knapsack for years.

For example: “My co-worker used to make negative comments about my weight every day. Now that I’m working on losing weight, the comments are snide: ‘Oh, a salad? Yeah, that’ll help.’ It’s so discouraging, and I end up self-sabotaging by eating candy at my desk every afternoon.”

Sound familiar?

Let’s talk about caring about other people’s opinions. 

This is the people-pleasing quality that will keep you from ever achieving your goals. 

How do I know that? Well, personal experience.

But it’s also common sense. If you live your life to make everyone around you happy, how is that fulfilling your own wants, needs, and desires?

Think about it logically: If you do the things that you do every day to please everyone else, you’re the one who’s accumulating resentment. 

You’re the one who’s creating pain in your body from holding on to that resentment and ignoring your authenticity. 

You’re the one who’s using that resentment as fuel to continue overeating, over drinking, or whatever way you cope with your emotions.

How do you stop letting other people’s opinions affect you so much?

You make a decision.

Here’s what I did. I decided that I wasn’t gonna waste any of my f*cks in the second half of my life caring about what anyone else thinks of me because (drum roll, please):

The only opinion of me that truly matters is my own.

I’m the one who lives inside my head. I’m the one who has to deal with all of the emotional repercussions of those judgments and negative words, not anyone else.

So when you’re caring so desperately what other people think of you that you’re allowing it to affect how you feel about yourself, keep this in mind: None of those people are thinking about you right now. Those people are thinking about themselves, as we all do.

And if they are thinking about you, their thoughts about you are a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves, NOT how they actually feel about you.

The only one who’s thinking about you and judging you in this moment is you. So you might as well do your best to make peace with who you are. It’s a much kinder existence, believe me.

Practice accepting your flaws; embracing your mistakes; befriending your burdens. 

It takes hard work to change it, but it’s not supposed to be easy. Welcome to the human experience!

It’s not linear. Change never is. There are setbacks and there are total wipeouts. And yet you can still rally; you can still keep moving forward.

As long as you’re being kind to yourself and acknowledging the progress you’ve made, you will continue to improve.

And isn’t it better to try? To learn and grow rather than stagnate in feeling terrible about yourself all the time? Or to sit and stew in silent rage about the things OTHER people say to you/about you? 

I mean seriously, f*ck those a$$holes. Every single effort you make to feel better matters.

No one else knows what you’re going through…and conversely, you have no idea what anyone else is going through. 

Maybe that person you thought was glaring at you in judgment over your weight is having a bad day and not actually seeing you at all. YOU’RE NOT INSIDE THEIR HEAD, SWEETHEART. 

So rather than jumping to the meanest, most hurtful conclusions, try this instead: “I have no idea what that person is going through, and that [whatever was said or done] had nothing to do with me.”

Practice that. Be patient with yourself. And be persistent, because this sh*t takes a looonnnng time to change.

And if you’d like to work with me on this stuff, email me at dana@revolution-within.com.

Love & hugs, 

Dana