Physical Hunger vs. Emotional Hunger

It’s December! It’s the time of year where things get hectic and time seems to move faster than ever. 

And I’ve noticed that it’s getting more difficult for me to practice what I preach about paying attention to physical hunger cues (stomach growling, energy fading, slight headache, inability to focus) and being intentional about what I’m eating. 

There’s been an uptick in my emotional hunger. Why?

Drama. As I’ve said in previous blogs, drama is my forte. I just love to splash around in it, eat a ton of cookies through it, then judge the fuck out of myself for it.

Wait. Rewind that.

I don’t LOVE to do that…I default to it. There’s a big difference. And it takes a considerable amount of mental energy to stay on the path of lifestyle changes when things begin to pile up the way they tend to around the holidays. (And when I say “things,” I don’t just mean tasks. I mean emotions.)

I have a lot on my plate right now, and I’m sure most of you do as well. I won’t bore you with the details…you’re here for information, not my drama.

But this is my blog and I get to write WHATEVER I WANT! So skip ahead to below the second **** if you’d rather not read it.

**** 1st ****

Some of it is the bittersweetness of the holidays, but mainly it’s this: I’m having surgery next week and it’s weighing on me more than I’d like.

This surgery is not life-or-death, but I believe it will improve my quality of life and decrease pain issues I’ve had for most of my 51 years.

Alright, I’ll spill.  I’m getting a partial hysterectomy.

Women’s health being historically ignored has affected me as it has millions of American women. I’ve been to many different gynecologists and have had countless ultrasounds, scans, smears, pokes, prods, and whatnot.

The debilitating cramps, weeks-long bleeding cycles, and other issues have basically been dismissed over the decades with “it’s normal,” (like fuck it is)” “just deal with it,”(which is what I’ve done…and I’ve missed a shitload of work days because of it) “lose weight and it’ll get better” (the standard response for any health issue a 5’4” woman over 130 pounds will hear).

There was an attempt at having an ablation done, which is a less drastic procedure, but that fell through during the pandemic.

I’ve waited a very long time for this. But ever since my surgery was scheduled, things have gotten better. I’m no longer bleeding 25 days a month and I’m cramping less often. (It’s hard to say if my weight loss has made a difference or if it’s just that I’m probably in menopause.)

Now, I have practiced myself out of worrying constantly about everything the way I used to. I’ve (mostly) become a pretty chill, “everything will work out the way it’s meant to” kind of person.

But I’m finding myself worrying about this, because…what if now I don’t need this procedure? What if I’m just supposed to leave my uterus alone?

Welp. I made a decision based on 38 years of experience and an extensive family history of reproductive cancers…I’m definitely going through with it.

After having a complicated and tumultuous relationship with my uterus, we’re finally breaking up. 🥳

And I’m really hoping nothing goes wrong. 

I don’t even like to think about that, because I spend a great deal of energy staying in a positive mindset. 

But I am thinking about it, and denying that is just suppressing emotions. Suppressing emotions is what fuels emotional eating. 

Vicious cycle right there.

Wow. What started out as a blog about physical vs. emotional hunger turned into the saga of my reproductive organs. Sorry about that.

**** 2nd ****

Anyway. You, dear reader, may be finding yourself struggling more than usual right now with your urges to overeat or drink alcohol or binge (or whatever pattern you typically struggle with). 

My suggestion is to be kind to yourself and, if you’re hoping to avoid regain, do some quality thought exploration. 

Start writing down what’s been on your mind. Make a list, check it twice…that sort of thing.

Or try what I’ve been doing this week. It’s a gratitude exercise that I presented it to my Instagram followers, to a few clients, and now here for you. 

Every day for a week, write down five things about yourself that you’re grateful for. Not about what you do for others or what others do for you. About YOU.

One of my dear friends busted out seven days’ worth in one sitting! (So proud of you, Suzanna! 💙💜)

What does this have to do with your emotional drama, Dana?

Well, it’s a mental grounding activity. It gets your brain to show you that there’s more to you, some really wonderful things, than just this struggle with food. 

When we slip back into the pattern of emotional overeating, we begin to hyper focus on “great…back here again” and lose sight of the things about ourselves that make us amazing. 

All of these things can be true. We can be a fucking delight and we can struggle with our deeply ingrained response to overwhelming emotions at the same time. 

We can be worried about something and we can believe that it’s going to turn out okay at the same time, too.

Anyway, that’s what I have this week.

All will be well ✌🏼💙💜 (That’s a good reminder, eh?)

Love & hugs, Dana