Find Your Kindness This (New) Year

Hello, beauties and cuties! It’s almost a brand new year, and what better time to start learning how to be kinder to yourself and, in turn, feeling soooo much better.

Where to begin? Well, instead of a list of resolutions I’m encouraging you to make a list of the good-to-great things that you did to be kind to yourself in 2024, no matter how small you may think it is.

I’m talking things like sleeping in an extra 30 minutes, treating yourself to lunch alone, delegating the gift-wrapping to your partner this year instead of doing everything yourself.

Celebrating your wins is a vital step in the path to your kindest relationship with yourself. So much of our energy is spent on the wants, needs, and demands of the world around us. So take 10 minutes to acknowledge things that might not be considered “productive” but that absolutely contributed to bettering your mental health. That’s the bare minimum of self-care, in my opinion.

Okay, so that’s done. Now: What should I do for 2025?

You can start increasing your awareness. When you begin paying attention to the way you talk to yourself, a pattern will emerge…and it’s more than likely that pattern isn’t super-encouraging.

If you spend your days with a bully inside your head, there’s not a great chance that you’re thriving right now. That voice is what keeps us playing it safe, staying in our comfortable misery:

“Your face is too fat for that haircut.”

“You’re too old to go back to school.”

“Why would you start learning how to play piano? You know you’re gonna suck at it anyway.”

How about taking a chance on something outside of the critical purview you’re so accustomed to?

If that thought terrifies you but also makes you just a little bit curious, then you’re ready to start.

Yeah, I get it…change is scary. But so is going through life feeling dull, like you’re missing out on something.

Snowy goodness is something that I try not to miss out on, even though I live in a warm climate

So what if you just can’t put your finger on it and you don’t even know where to look?

You need to look within. What’s buried beneath all of that rule-following you’ve been doing your whole life?

“Yeah, I get it…change is scary. But so is going through life feeling dull, like you’re missing out on something.”

You can start something new anytime you want. And if you don’t like it in a few months, you can try something else. 

You just don’t *believe* that yet. You’ve been living your life by some rulebook that was written by society, by culture, by religion. And that’s all well and good; guidelines can be helpful.

But are you fulfilled? Do you wake up every morning feeling content? 

Now, you don’t have to be skipping out of bed, singing “Zippadee Doo Dah” every morning. I don’t go to those extremes in these conversations.

Let me ask you this: When you allow yourself to be still, to quiet the outer influences that surround you constantly and really listen to what is often referred to as your gut instinct or your intuition or your small, still voice…

…what do you know to be true?

Are you living the life that you truly want to live? If so, that’s amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing with my blessing. 

But if there’s a sense of “I want to do something more…something fulfilling…something adventurous…” That’s what we want to tap into. 

So start there. Awareness of both your inner bully and your inner knowing. Write all of that stuff down. It doesn’t matter if you’re “not a good writer” or whatever it is that you tell yourself to keep yourself stifled and small. If you don’t want to write, record your thoughts in a voice memo on your phone. 

Then read over it or listen back to it. When reviewing the mean stuff, ask yourself if you would talk to your child or best friend like that. No? Then why would you say that to yourself? Reframe those words to be constructive rather than critical. 

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. Learning how to nurture and support yourself will improve everything around you: Every experience, every encounter, every moment. 

And when you’re going back over that sense of wanting something more, ask yourself how you’d feel if you die tomorrow not having at least tried to go for it.

And then take one small action toward at least trying. Write or record your ideal scenario around it. Imagine that absolutely nothing could get in your way and you are guaranteed to succeed at it. How would your life change? What feelings would you feel if that happened?

And that’s awareness. Congratulations…you’ve begun finding your kindness.

Wishing you the happiest of New Year celebrations, and I’ll see you in 2025!

Love & hugs,

Dana